I must be too annoying 4 u.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
