I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you never un-have a 4some
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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