How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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