Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
