im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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