Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
