Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
