oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
