Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
