drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
