So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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