He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
