Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
