dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We're too hungover to prance.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
