As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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