I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
