I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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