Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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