I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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