so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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