i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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