I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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