she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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