can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
