so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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