Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
