Are we in a gay sports bar?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
