sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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