i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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