I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
