I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
