Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
