I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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