Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
BRING THE BAGELS
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
