Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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