One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
you made out with another girl for some wings
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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