we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
sarcasm needs its own font
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
