I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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