I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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