Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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