So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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