Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
