You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
