I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
