what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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