It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
