Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
