Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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