I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
