thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
