Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
