he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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