I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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